Quick hits -- I'll give YOU a quick hit if you use this again. (Or low-hanging fruit, either. Really ? Have you seen a lot of mango trees at YOUR office lately ? No -- I thought not.)
Amazing -- I am so sick of this word and it's partially my fault. Damn you, reality television ! (I'm looking straight at you, you so-called "Real" housewives. Pssht. Real, my left hind fanny.)
Rock Star -- as in "you're my rock star". No. I'm not. I'm the grunt that gets it done for about a tenth of the money you would have to pay anyone else.
Outrageous -- why ? Why do things have to be "outrageous" ? (Or "extreme", for that measure ?) Why isn't it enough just to have normal things ?
Bandwidth -- I am not a network pipe. I am a people.
Circle back -- because we are all pioneers in our wagons. Oh, suuuure. Mmmhmm.
Resource -- when used in conversations that involve actual human beings. This is only slightly more demeaning than the term FTE, which enjoyed its glory days in the late 80's. Criminy -- you are talking about colleagues, employees, "associates", "members", technicians, people, anything but a word also used to describe unsmelted ore. I am a unique little snowflake with very specific talents, I am not a cog in the machine.
Update -- had to add "take it to another level". I have somewhere you can take this. It's that big trash bin over there.
Thoughts ?
17 March 2009
07 March 2009
Because My Husband Likes Popsicles
And I like the jokes on the sticks.
What do you give a snake with allergies ?
Anti-hissssss-tamines.
*dies laughing*
Thoughts ?
What do you give a snake with allergies ?
Anti-hissssss-tamines.
*dies laughing*
Thoughts ?
05 March 2009
Dammit, People -- What's Your PROBLEM ?
To Congress -- QUIT BEING PART OF THE PROBLEM and EARN your money. Knock off all this partisan crap and GET R DUN. The people that elected you should ask for their campaign contributions back (no, I'm not kidding at all) if you continue to pass things like the non-binding resolution of Geronimo's courage and not work on small items like the FREAKING stimulus bill/s.
FOLKS ! Pay attention !
Also -- earmark THIS. Quit thinking about yourselves for a change and think about what is best for the ENTIRE country. Judas Priest, but you people are stupid and shortsighted.
To the lobbyists: (I can't even say anything here because my gag reflex just kicks in.)
To AIG: No. No more. Go ask France for a loan.
To Rush Limbaugh: Shut it. Or get your Oxy refilled. No. . . actually. . . just shut it. You too, Bill Maher. Neither of you is nearly as smart as you think you are. Both of you should be classified as "entertainers". . . except neither of you actually IS entertaining.
To the Democrats: Quit just pitching money at the problem. Use your Harvard and Yale educations and actually THINK about where money would be best spent. And, if I have to come up there and show you people how to use the damn line item veto option, I will.
To the Republicans: Shut up and help. Quit pointing fingers because, honestly ? Y'all have absolutely nothing going on right now that's better. And. . . there were eight years of. . . eesh. How much has the Iraq "War on Terror" cost this country ? Right. Think about that when you are pointing at the earmarks and such.
To GM: Gee. . . it sure would have been smart of y'all to start working on hybrid cars about 10 years ago, wouldn't it ? Since your CEO saw fit to run you in the ground and y'all are thinking about declaring bankruptcy to restructure your debt. . .how's he looking now ? Oh, yeah -- and he's the one that got BONUS. ES ! last year. How smart was that ? (Also, Ford ? Looking at you too, so don't get all high and mighty.)
To Wall Street: Are you proud of yourselves ? I hope every one of you dishonest, greedy SOBs get indicted and fined out the hoohah. I want you to have to live where the lower middle class have to live and I want YOU to worry about foreclosure and how to pay off student loans and that your 401K is in the toilet. I want you to suffer like you made other people suffer. (Plus. . .John Thain should be forced to bag groceries at the local Sak-N-Pak on the graveyard shift for the rest of his natural life. Prison is too good for him.)
To the folks who can't seem to manage your budgets: Have you got it now ? Do you now understand the very simple math that says if you're bringing in about 40K a year, a 500K or more house is probably WAY out of your price range ? Do you now understand the acronym APR on the credit card statements ? Do you ?
To Octomom: Words fail me. Speaking of fail. . . my Lord, woman, but you are. Epic phail. Absolutely epic.
I still don't really feel better, but I just had to get this off my chest and out of my head.
Thoughts ?
FOLKS ! Pay attention !
Also -- earmark THIS. Quit thinking about yourselves for a change and think about what is best for the ENTIRE country. Judas Priest, but you people are stupid and shortsighted.
To the lobbyists: (I can't even say anything here because my gag reflex just kicks in.)
To AIG: No. No more. Go ask France for a loan.
To Rush Limbaugh: Shut it. Or get your Oxy refilled. No. . . actually. . . just shut it. You too, Bill Maher. Neither of you is nearly as smart as you think you are. Both of you should be classified as "entertainers". . . except neither of you actually IS entertaining.
To the Democrats: Quit just pitching money at the problem. Use your Harvard and Yale educations and actually THINK about where money would be best spent. And, if I have to come up there and show you people how to use the damn line item veto option, I will.
To the Republicans: Shut up and help. Quit pointing fingers because, honestly ? Y'all have absolutely nothing going on right now that's better. And. . . there were eight years of. . . eesh. How much has the Iraq "War on Terror" cost this country ? Right. Think about that when you are pointing at the earmarks and such.
To GM: Gee. . . it sure would have been smart of y'all to start working on hybrid cars about 10 years ago, wouldn't it ? Since your CEO saw fit to run you in the ground and y'all are thinking about declaring bankruptcy to restructure your debt. . .how's he looking now ? Oh, yeah -- and he's the one that got BONUS. ES ! last year. How smart was that ? (Also, Ford ? Looking at you too, so don't get all high and mighty.)
To Wall Street: Are you proud of yourselves ? I hope every one of you dishonest, greedy SOBs get indicted and fined out the hoohah. I want you to have to live where the lower middle class have to live and I want YOU to worry about foreclosure and how to pay off student loans and that your 401K is in the toilet. I want you to suffer like you made other people suffer. (Plus. . .John Thain should be forced to bag groceries at the local Sak-N-Pak on the graveyard shift for the rest of his natural life. Prison is too good for him.)
To the folks who can't seem to manage your budgets: Have you got it now ? Do you now understand the very simple math that says if you're bringing in about 40K a year, a 500K or more house is probably WAY out of your price range ? Do you now understand the acronym APR on the credit card statements ? Do you ?
To Octomom: Words fail me. Speaking of fail. . . my Lord, woman, but you are. Epic phail. Absolutely epic.
I still don't really feel better, but I just had to get this off my chest and out of my head.
Thoughts ?
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