10 January 2008

There Are Not Enough "Ws" in "OWWWWWW"

Suffice it to say that I will be re-establishing my relationship with Bic razors at least as far as my tender armpits are concerned.

Yeah. I tried waxing them for the first time and here's all I have to say about that.

Oh. Mah. GAH !

Right armpit -- first try. Wax strip and rippage = NOTHING BUT PAIN. I can deal with pain. I can handle pain. But, dagNABBIT -- that strip better be yanking out some HAIR along with that pain !
NOTHING. Noooooothing. Zero. Zippo. Zilch. Nada.

I figure I did it wrong.
I make my second HUGE mistake.
I apply the strip. . . to the LEFT armpit. As I do so, I realize that my right armpit is now stuck together a little bit. Might I add. . . OWCHIE. . . because, you see. . . what is stuck together is now red, inflamed, and throbbing with every heartbeat.

I figure. . . crap, I've already smashed on the wax strip -- I'm pretty much in this for the long haul. I take a deep breath and prepare for further agony.

R
I
P

EEEEEEEEEEEEGAD !

Guess what ? I have exactly seven more hairs from the left side than the right. . . for a grand total of SEVEN.

Great googly MOOGLY !

There is something to be said for having your husband downstairs listening to a loud hockey game. It keeps him from hearing the shrieking. I just hope that the neighbors did not think we were beating each other with hammers for fun.

Anyhow, I will close this cautionary tale with this: remember the Epilady and know that wax strips on armpits are immeasurably "painfuller".

Thoughts ?

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Ok for once I am GLAD there are no pictures.

Kate

Sirocco said...

Comments:

1. Ben Franklin's definition of insanity comes to mind.

2. Your pain tolerance is notoriously average. There are times it seems like if you blink, you hurt your eyelid.

3. I'm with Kate on the whole no pictures thing.