Brain Bites

It's like a tasting menu, I guess -- nothing here makes up a full meal, but there's little "bites" of lots of stuff.

Top Chef on BravoTV -- I'm addicted. I knew there was lots of drama behind the scenes in most high-end kitchens (which is precisely why I won't watch Hell's Kitchen with that drama chef, Whatshisname). Anyhow, I called it for Season Two, but I'm very interested in Season Three which is still running. I honestly don't know who I'd vote for, but I know that Hung would not be in my top two. He may be the most technically adept, classically-trained chef, but I have issues with his lack of teamwork, poor safety record in the kitchen, and quite frankly, his sheer arrogance. I simply don't believe he has the cattle to go with that hat of his. It's peculiar to me that he doesn't seem to have learned anything from the Seasons 1 & 2 egotists, Stephen & Marcel.

Kitties !
Jinx is still doing well, although she's lost a pound between last year and this one. The vet said that her bloodwork is perfect, so I think she's basically in the catbird seat (no pun intended) right now. It just means that she gets to eat more and that she has no guilt about it. =P
S'prise is also doing very well. He's gotten WAY bigger -- it's almost scary how much he's grown in the three months that we've had him. He still has his "mohawk" and his little blackspot nose. He's gotten MUCH better about not biting quite so hard and is mellowing out (finally) where we can actually play with him a little without having to head back to the blood bank for additional transfusions !
Wet cat food is gross. That is all.

Dogs !
Bix & Baxter are still alive. Nobody faint, please -- I think it's as much of a shock to them as it is to the rest of us. They have taken to sleeping on the couch during the day, which is fine as it allows me to work at the house and not worry about them quite as much. They're ancient, but still movin' & groovin'. Okay, maybe not "groovin'", but I don't know the dog equivalent of "shuffling around trying to remember where I left my brain".

Backyard !
I haven't had any time in the last couple of weeks to do the rest of the blackberry remediation, so the backyard is still in a state of. . . well. . . "flux". I actually froze some berries from the canes, tho. I also bought three sets of raspberries that I hope to plant this weekend. We'll see. When I get them in the ground, I hope to have some more pics to post, along with berries next year. Yum ! (I hope that the coulis next year will be a great deal less expensive because of this foresight. . .)

One more task that will be getting done is cleaning the gutters. I know that this is the sexiest task that most of you can actually imagine yourself doing, but it's just something that we have to do soon. Why, you say ? Is it because our gutters are not draining water into the system correctly ? Nope. Is it because it's one of those "every six months" tasks that need to happen ? Nope. Does it have something to do with the FLORA GROWING IN THE STUFF STUCK IN THE GUTTERS ? Mebbe.

Work !
I am never, ever getting sick again. That is all.
This week has been very busy trying to climb the mountain of work to be processed since I had to take Friday off last week. Stupid weather change caused me to get sick, run fever, cough -- all that fun stuff. I'm much better now -- no worries -- just have to run around and clean the house since Robert's buddy Kevin will be here in a couple of weeks for a visit.

Burn Notice!
I am sad that I have to wait until next summer to see the next season of this series. I think this has been one of the smartest, tightest, sharpest shows to come up lately. I'd like to compare it to Psych, but I just can't. Psych has its own charming goofiness that I love, but it's in a whole different place than Burn Notice. Jeffrey Donovan is so good as the "hero" that you almost forget about him being the astronaut in Monk and the jerk in Hitch.

Last Quarter this Year !
Halloween !
Can't wait ! I'm not sure if I can salvage the "bacon & egg" suit from last year -- and NO, I do not EVER plan to post pics of this. It's one of those "you just had to be there" moments -- or if I am going to come up with something else. I've had a lightbulb in my mind for a couple of weeks -- just not sure how to pull that one off yet.

November !
Hoping that our planned Tucson trip goes well. We're getting to go down for a good friend's wedding and I think we're going to visit with Robert's family while we're down there as we won't have enough time this year to also do Thanksgiving a couple weeks later.

December !
[[ flatline sound ]] -- I just can't quite think this far ahead right now. Got too much on my plate right now as it is. =D Okay, I'm lying, but only a little. I have been doing a little Christmas shopping and trying to get stuff ready to wrap and send when it gets to be time.

Current stuff !
What I've been doing -- I reworked all the cra. . . jun. . . err stuff on my desk after I finished work. I've managed to cull a bunch of stuff out and shred it (I can hear Kate screaming for joy now), which has actually reduced a lot of my stress. I guess my chi was all blocked with all this random. . . schmutz everywhere. It does tend to aggravate me, tho, when I need one thing from the office supply store that they don't sell the way I need it packaged. I just can't understand why stores don't sell exactly what I want when I want it. Stupid folders. =P

Oh, and for those who care, no phone call from Britney's peeps yet. I continue to hold out hope that Little Miss Meltdown will clue in and contact me so that I can start the "tough lov. . . lik. . . um. . . just toughness."

I fixed the comment thing, btw -- all of you (all three) that want to post anonymous comments can do so now.

Thoughts ?

An Open Letter To Britney Spears

Dear Miss Spears:

I am sure that you do not wish to hear any more about your personal "malfunctions"; however, I believe that I can provide a solution to your current woes.

I will agree to be a Life Coach for you for the sum of $300.00 USD per hour.

I will provide my services to you for one hour -- no more, no less -- per day for a total of 5 hours per week until you are able to maintain some semblance of sanity for more than a few days.

I see several pros to this approach:

1) $300.00/hour is most certainly less than whatever you are paying your attorney/s.
2) I can help you repair your public image.
3) I can assist you with your custody issues.
4) I can make myself available to you for those hours -- interruption-free.

I believe that you are searching for help and I can and will provide that assistance to you.

My rules are simple and few:

You agree to do what I ask for the time period that I am employed by you, although negotiation of those requests is possible. Wearing underwear is not negotiable.
You further agree not to make decisions outside that scope without first vetting them through me.
If you cannot follow the first two rules, our employment period will end immediately and any and all errors in judgment to follow will be understood to be your sole responsibility.

My methods speed growth of personal accountability and responsibility, while allowing time for you to work through whatever demons you currently have or believe you have.

I believe that the time period that will be required will span approximately 6 months.
This is a rough figure of $36,000. This is a sum less than you spent last month on well, whatever you spend your money on. After six months, if you still require additional assistance/lessons, supplemental hours can be purchased, although the price for those lessons will increase to $500.00/hour for the first twenty hours and on an increasing scale for any further lessons. This is to prevent dependence and encourage personal growth.

At the end of those six months, if my rules are adhered to, I can guarantee that your life will have less stress, more focus, and a much better trajectory than it currently has. I can further guarantee that your children will be happier and healthier.

Please let me know. Comments can be posted to this blog - so have your people get in touch with my. . . well, me.

To my friends and family -- no, I'm not kidding.
To Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, and Paris Hilton -- this applies to you as well.

A Week In the Life

Okay -- a little more than a week, I guess. . .

The last couple of weeks have been pretty busy at work, and I hadn't gotten Robert his birthday gift yet. So, naturally, I spent Saturday the 1st Christmas shopping ! Yes, yes, I know. Horrible wife. Well, not exactly.

I decided to let him off the hook Saturday for the first day of the college football season. Of course on SUNDAY, we did go to Fry's electronics and brought home every (tech) man's dream. No -- not the 60 inch plasma that plugs into the ear automagically. Just a 22 inch LCD monitor that is, I must say, bee-yoo-ti-ful. After we went to Fry's, we also took a quick trip up to Seattle because I had a small obsession to fulfill. Who knew it would be so hard to find tequila lollipops ? No, not for me. Yes, I found them. No, not in Seattle. Puyallup. Yes. Puyallup. We also did a Nielsen survey for a new movie (me) and a new tv show (Robert). I can't tell you any more than that, but. . . I think there may be a new movie coming out that I will have to drag poor Robert to.

Monday was Labor Day, so of course Baxter woke me up at 6:45, scratching on the garage door. He doesn't want in the garage -- he just wants to go somewhere else. I wish I knew where he wanted to go because I know dang well that garage door doesn't lead to the Cayman Islands. Since I was already awake, I went ahead and knocked some stuff off our DVR -- two more obsessions, Monk & Psych -- did some chores, and then settled down with Robert for some WoW time. No, no -- not that. Notice the capitals, please. =P

Tuesday I got to learn a whole new set of skills. I was already covering for one person out on vacation. I thought -- how difficult can this be, seeing as I already know the system, know most of the people involved on our side, and know most of the assignments for those people. Let me mention right now that I am an eeeeediot. Anyhow. . . those aren't the skills I was talking about -- I was also asked to take on another small task overseeing a meeting. That's not so hard except it involved some technology that a) I have not used in this manner before, b) I haven't seen in action at this particular meeting, and c) is only possible for me to use when I am on the client site. Interesting. I knew about the coverage last week, but just hadn't had a chance to actually test drive everything that was required, so what do I do ? Yep -- I work it out where I'm at the site early, I talk with the designated tech person, and I do a quick run-through in the conference room. One small oopsie -- this is a borrowed laptop and doesn't love me. I have to call the tech back in order to have the software installed by an "administrator". Fuuuunnnn. Suffice it to say -- the meeting went as well as it was going to -- it wasn't bad.

Wednesday was a normal day -- just getting ready to be busy, although I didn't realize it at the time. I got quite a bit done and did the normal Wednesday meeting. After that, I talked with another co-worker and realized that I was not going to have any space allocated to me in the new building. At all. For those of you in the audience (j/k), this means that I am now working from home five days a week. Am I complaining ? NOPE. It just means that I now have to pack up every single item in my office (a couple of moving boxes' worth) and take it home because I have no idea what else to do with it. I spend a little time packing up and get all the stuff in my car. It's amazing what you can do all by yourself, btw. Just hoist that box up on your shoulder like a stevedore and tote that bale right down a couple flights of stairs. Nope, nope -- I can sure get that door by myself as well -- no help needed. /eye

I thought the heavy lifting was over, but then Thursday & Friday crashed down on me like a tidal wave. Processed a bunch of work on Thursday and then dealt with the requests on Friday for all the specific tasks required since I am covering for someone else. The upshot of this is. . .not a lot of my work got done, although nothing is/was late and nothing will be. Robert's been sick for a few days as well -- running fever and coughing, so I'm not getting much sleep.

Saturday ! I get to sleep late ! Okay -- 9:30 is not late exactly, but at least I'm being able to catch up on some of the sleep deprivation caused by Baxter for the last couple of weeks months. Oh, but we leave the house around 10:30. Did I mention that we are headed to the UW Husky vs Boise State Bronco game ? Robert's co-worker, the other Robert, came over and we headed to the Federal Way Transit Center. Oh, HEY ! WRONG transit center ! Who would have ever thought that the shuttle to the game would be at the other transit center in Federal Way ? Actually -- who would have ever thought that there were TWO TRANSIT CENTERS in the SAME PLACE ? Yes -- we drove up to the UW campus in Seattle. *grumble, mumble* Stupid transit center.

We get to the game and hunt for a place to park. Since we are late -- because of the Transit Center boo-boo -- we have to park in Spokane. I keed, I keed. We hunt around close to campus and finally find the secret parking spot. After a quick hike of about half a mile (I wish I keed), we get to the stadium and meet the friends who have made the tickets available to us. Now, we need to climb the Everest of stadiums. One set of stairs coming in, two more ramps to the "upper section". Oh, but then, friends and neighbors, there are some more stairs and we all know that I am built for comfort and not for stamina. I make it up the stairs fine and get to our seats. I sit down and get ready to cheer for the Broncos, but. . . oh ! What are those ? Those neato little green spots ? What are those and. . . why am I suddenly having trouble staying upright ? Wow. Robert got to see his wife doing some swaying that puts to shame anyone else's stinkin' drunk.

Disclaimer for all -- I'm FINE ! I'm FINE !

Anyway, the paramedic lady was very nice and I was just a smidge dehydrated, I guess. (Actually, I don't guess -- that's what she told me. I went down at halftime and had a chat with her to prove that I really was okay and that she didn't need to worry. She really told me that I was so dehydrated that I had a green ring around my right eye. I explained that it was my contact showing.

She said, "That's what I mean -- you were so dehydrated that your contact was pulling away from your eye a little.)

A little pizza and some fresh-squeezed lemonade later, I am feeling much better. The game ends and Boise State doesn't win, but that's okay, I guess -- the UW folks are very happy. We all head to the car and finally get home late that night. Poor Robert II -- I get home and crash out. Robert I goes out to supper with him and they have a great time. I sleep for about 5 hours and finally get some REM sleep.

Sunday I continue my quest for sleep. Robert and I do our normal chores and I get ready for the next week. I know that there is a lot of work coming my way, so I'm trying to conserve a little energy.

I hit the ground running sprinting loping walking crawling dragging on Monday, because Baxter, in some psychic dog way, decided to scratch the [ censored ] garage door at 2:00am. After about an hour and a half of trying to get him settled down, I haul myself back upstairs and proceed to wake up every hour until I finally remember my name and get up to go to work at 8:00. Monday is very busy. I have an early meeting and then I crank out a bunch of processed work. I also get the picnic invitations printed out for our neighborhood picnic, but can't find my stupid paper trimmer. I also get the China pics off my HP camera ! YAY !

Tuesday is almost as busy. I work in the morning and get a bunch of work processed, then I head downtown to oversee the same meeting that I handled last Tuesday. THIS time, it goes way smoother. I finally get done and spend the rest of my night with my brand new shiny guilty pleasure. Yes, it's true. I've found. . . "Flipping Out" on Bravo. And it's a MARATHON ! I also find the paper trimmer.

Thoughts ?